Keep Waiting On God & Love Will Find You.

Guest Post By Chandra Adams

I had read so many articles in magazines and on the Internet, consumed books from experts and watched interview segments on respected TV programs, and they all said pretty much the same thing: men don’t wait for sex.

If they do wait, it's only for a short period of time.

Because I am naturally a seeker and like to weigh out all my options, I immersed myself in whatever resources were at my disposal.

I have to be honest: I was very discouraged. And yet, I wasn’t willing to give up my commitment to abstinence, because the Bible is my primary guide and source for life. That is one thing I’m very clear about.

Even with that resolve, I let the messages permeating the culture mold my mentality about my dating prospects. Not to mention, nearly everything I read about black women’s dating statistics was negative. I got so sick and tired of hearing about all eligible black men being in jail, gay, hustling, womanizing or wilding out in some other way!

You know what I mean?

So when I met Devin at a restaurant in Chicago in 2010, I wasn’t too hopeful. He had a great smile, was tall, and very handsome. He asked for my number and I gave it to him, mostly because my girlfriend Vanessa kept poking me in the ribs and threatening me.

“Girl, he is fine! You better give him your number or I’ll give him mine,” she said with her crazy self.

I laughed at her and did it, but I didn’t really want to. I just wanted her to leave me alone and not embarrass me at this nice eatery.

So after Devin and I talked on the phone, I was cautiously optimistic. He let me know he was a Christian, had just graduated college and was working. He seemed to share similar interests and values, and was sounding a lot like what I asked God for in my prayers.

The more we talked, the more I liked him.

The first time we went out on a formal date, I put on this blue dress Vanessa helped me pick out. It didn’t hug me too tightly because I was not trying to send this man the wrong message. I don't believe in serving up anything I'm not going to let someone taste.

Just saying.

Well when he showed up at my door, he had flowers, looked me up and down and said, “Blue is definitely your color. You look beautiful.”

I could only think about how charming and what a cutie pie he was.

He seemed cut from the right cloth, as if we could probably work out. But I didn’t know how to tell this man I was not having sex before marriage. For one, I didn’t want him to think I was necessarily thinking about him as marriage material!

We didn’t know each other well enough for that conversation yet. It had only been several weeks. I also imagined him walking out of my life for good after hearing that "bad" news, which I didn’t want to happen.

He brought joy into my world, but I had to remind myself that true joy is in Christ, not a man. I think that’s what really helped me decide to tell him the truth... whatever the outcome.

When that moment came, I was totally surprised by how naturally the conversation flowed. I didn’t have to force it. I just said, “I haven’t talked to you about sex, but I practice abstinence and I intend to do that until my wedding day.”

When I said it, he grinned so big and told me he totally respected that. He, too, was practicing abstinence.

Look at God. Won't He do it?

Fast forward to now and Devin and I just celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. Waiting was worth it. I know you probably hear a lot of people say that, but it's true. He truly loves God and values me, and I didn’t have to compromise my standards for a man.

You don’t have to either.

When I first met Devin, I didn’t know how far God would carry this relationship. I just knew I liked him. My allegiance, however, was to the Lord.

My message to you is no matter what the culture says, do what God says. There are still men who wait for sex and are equally committed to living for God.

So keep waiting on God. Love will find you.

I know, because it found me.

If you need encouragement and helping waiting for sex, get your copy of Dianna Hobbs' best-selling book The New A-list: Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, now available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Booksamllion.com.