To Wait Or Not To Wait? 10 Reasons to Remain Sexually Pure

Article By Dianna Hobbs: The New A-list author

Kim Kardashian, Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj and Rihanna, are among the women in our culture leading the sensuality movement.

The glorification of lust and sexuality is commonplace, with advocates of abstinence and modesty being styled as old-fashioned and out of touch. But there are benefits to purity.

Before I quickly list 10 of them, I want to encourage you to continue holding on in this sin-sick world.

While you are in your season of singleness, I know it may not always be easy.

When you make a decision to abstain from premarital sex, you, just like me, hear all the negative chatter. You see lots of folks choosing not to wait and they appear to be having the time of their lives.

But don’t conform to the world (Romans 12:12). Conform to the word.

Remain strong in your convictions and adhere to the principles outlined in the word of God, rather than leaning on the ever-changing ideological views of our culture’s dominant voices.

War On Virtue

There is a war on virtue led by women that believe promiscuity and overt sexiness is equal to self-expression.

As an abstinence advocate, I keep up with cultural trends, particularly those related to the abstinence movement.

In my research today, I came across an article from a writer who declared abstinence-only education a joke. When she was a teenager she said her mother gave her condoms to ensure that her sexual escapades didn’t lead to STDs or pregnancy.

The author of the piece also said when her children have intercourse, it won’t be her business. She just wants them to be safe.

The debate about whether to teach abstinence exclusively, or approach it as just one of many options for safe sex, is ongoing.

I try not to get caught up in the fray because I find that most people actively involved in such debates are solid in their positions, whether I believe them to be right or wrong.

Again, I have heard plenty of rumblings against abstinence.

Another article I read this morning that broached the subject of abstinence focused on the perspective of researcher Sarah Diefendorf, a sociology doctoral candidate at the University of Washington in Seattle.

She says abstaining causes sexual confusion, specifically in men.

LiveScience.com quotes her as saying, "They spend the first 20-something years of their lives being told that sex is wrong. They're expected to make this transition from the beastly to the scared, but they don't really have the tools to be able to do that effectively."

While I cannot speak for the male experience, as a woman who abstained from sex until marriage, making the transition came very naturally for me.

I felt good about being intimate with my spouse the way God ordained it, inside a marriage. In fact, it made the experience that much more special.

The issues I personally ran into stemmed from being sexually molested by a neighbor at age six.

Intercourse acted as a trigger about a year into my marriage, awakening horrifying memories that I had suppressed over the years.

I cried a lot, talked about it with my husband a lot, and prayed even more to get through the really rough patches.

But, in terms of feeling confused about sex with my spouse, that wasn’t true for me.

Waiting Is Beautiful

Waiting is a beautiful thing. It makes sexuality sacred—the way God intended.

Friend, whether you are a virgin or have already had sex, either way, you can practice abstinence.

Consider all the valuable pros, rather than the cons, that come along with holding out.

Here is my quick list of 10 pros:

1. You honor your spiritual commitment to God, which is most important of all

2. You avoid developing soul ties with multiple partners

3. You don’t have to endure the heartbreak that follows giving yourself away to an unworthy person who devalues you afterward

4. You are able to connect with a mate based on true love, without being blinded by lust, giving yourself a better chance at a successful relationship

5. Your God-honoring lifestyle allows God into the process of connecting you with your soul mate, helping you avoid making the wrong choice

6. You will not have to deal with the overwhelming guilt that comes with sexual compromise

7. You will not be hindered from walking in your divine purpose due to hidden sexual sin

8. You will avoid sexually transmitted diseases—some of which are incurable and can impact your quality of life forever

9. You will not need to worry about bringing a child into the world with someone who is not ready to commit to your or that life they helped you create

10. You will feel strong, confident and experience the true freedom that comes from walking in obedience to God and submitting to His will

While abstinence does not guarantee that you will never face trouble in your relationship, it will eliminate a whole lot of unnecessary drama from your life.

So today, I invite you to invite God into your relationship choices. In order for Him to dwell do His work, however, you must be willing to walk in purity.

Your Abstinence Coach,

Dianna Hobbs

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To learn how to better value yourself, uphold your standards and resist sexual compromise, get your copy of Dianna Hobbs' best-selling book The New A-list: Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, now available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Booksamllion.com.

Comments

[Erika]

This was a great article and all the reasons listed for abstaining from sex were excellent.
Thanks again!

[Kim Brooks]

Excellent post, Dianna Hobbs. I am so glad I found your site which publishes content that I'm definitely in agreement with as a 37-year-old virgin (by the grace of God :) and fellow author. I especially agree with #7...so often we look at sex outside of marriage as simply a sin that, once committed we can say, "I'm sorry, Lord" and go about our merry way. However while God's grace is definitely more than sufficient as He forgives our sins every time we truly repent with the heart intention of never returning to the same sin again, another main reason God doesn't want us to have sex outside of marriage is because, as you explained, it takes us off of the God-ordained path He has for us, distracts us and takes us off focus from our God-given purpose and destiny. God is faithful, and once we gain a willing heart and learn how to remain faithful to Him through His Word and other tools He set in place include your book and more, it is only then that we will walk in totally victory while single - totally committed and sold out to Him while in preparation for the awesome future He has for us.