Article By Dianna Hobbs:: The New A-list Author (Photo Credit: GETTY)
As an abstinence advocate and faith-based urban media specialist, I study trends in mainstream culture, because what celebrities do—for better or worse—impacts the most impressionable among us.
I pay attention to people regarded as cultural tastemakers, even if their message makes me cringe, so I can know what I am up against in my efforts to help lead this generation to faith in Christ, as well as to a lifestyle of abstinence.
That way, when I am called upon to speak to youth, offer commentary, and talk to my daily radio audience about relevant topics, I will have my fingers on the pulse of current issues shaping our world.
Earlier today, A-listers, I was reading a headline about 30-year-old rapper Future, real name, Nayvadius Wilburn, who is the fiancé of 28-year-old pregnant R&B singer Ciara.
During a radio interview with Sway Calloway, host of “Sway In The Morning,” which I watched in full, the topic turned toward sexual intimacy and how long Future and Ciara waited to cross that boundary.
Sway said it took months before he consummated the relationship with his current girlfriend. Then he directly asked Future a very personal question: “How long did it take you?”
“Man, it don’t never take me long on nothing,” Future replied.
When asked, more specifically, if it took a “couple months,” the “Honest” rapper smirked and responded, “It ain’t never took me a couple months for nothing.”
That was a non-committal but clear answer.
It’s safe to say Future, the father of three other children by three different women, and Ciara, Future’s baby mama and wife-to-be, didn’t wait long to slip between the sheets.
Now with that bit of personal information floating around out there, it will inevitably be a ringing endorsement, in the minds of some at least, for getting into physical intimacy quickly.
Whether some like it or not, people like Ciara impact young women—something she understood very early on in her career.
In a 2005 interview at a Cosmo Girl Magazine event (a defunct publication as of 2008), Ciara said she viewed herself as a “representative for the young girls of the world” and added, “I accept that responsibility."
That was then, though.
Ciara rose to fame in 2004 with the release of her album “Goodies” on which the title track condemned easily giving up the “cookies” to a man. It insinuated that it wasn’t easy to get her in bed.
Some of the lyrics said, “Looking for the goodies/Keep on lookin' cuz they stay in the jar.”
Now, this is not to single Ciara out, because she is not the only one getting it on in no time with a new love interest.
This is an epidemic. Women and men quickly, indiscriminately and repeatedly sex each other without a marital commitment.
This needs to stop.
As premarital loving is glorified and celebrated in our culture by couples like Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, Future and Ciara and the like, plenty more will do the same.
Though it may look glamorous in Hollywood, though, risqué sexual behaviors lead to unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases like HIV/AIDS, broken hearts, fractured relationships, and numerous sex encounters with unworthy prospects.
Friend, giving your body away to someone should never be approached casually.
Sex is sacred, designed by God to take place between a husband and wife.
So let’s keep the cookies in the proverbial jar until a ring and an “I Do” unlocks it.
Your Abstinence Coach,
Dianna Hobbs
To learn how to better value yourself, uphold your standards and resist sexual compromise, get your copy of Dianna Hobbs' best-selling book The New A-list: Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, now available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Booksamllion.com.
I am so grieved no one told me this when i was young. That no one cared enough to tell me how valuable i was. Like i was a throw away. Now i understand and feel so much regret.
Posted by: a | 05/02/2014 at 06:13 PM
Excellent article. Keep on speaking out. This is such an important message to pass on to others, especially those of us who are mothers to daughters. We must continuously teach this message to them.
We are all precious and wonderfully made. Be confident in who God has created us to be. Sex has so many implications and consequences.
T
Posted by: T | 05/02/2014 at 09:13 PM
Well.I'm wondering what the young lady in question thought about the "gentleman's"oh so heartfelt comments!! Let this be a warning to our daughters, nieces, female cousins, whoever...For far too many of our young men, you have NO value except as a sexual object, to be discarded at THEIR earliest inconvenience!!! WAKE UP!! I applaud Ms.Hobbs' valiant efforts to bring clarity to the issues plaguing our overly-sexualized society, though the cynic in me struggles not to view her efforts as ultimately futile. At any rate,let me say this to all of you, young women & men:Your TRUE value will only be found in a life lived IN CHRIST, not in how many sexual conquests you aspire to or how many babies you produce!! Our communities are lmploding; JESUS is our only answer!
Posted by: Laurence Charles Ringo | 05/06/2014 at 12:14 AM