Interview By Kennisha Hill
Q. What inspired you to write “The New A-list?”
I was a workshop presenter and keynote speaker at a purity conference in South Carolina. As I sat on the front row watching young men and women take their vows of purity—some tearfully—I was so, so moved. I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me right then to write a book on abstinence, full of the same invaluable principles that helped me successfully remain a virgin until marriage. So I obeyed Him and He filled my pen with priceless treasures to share with singles who wish to remain abstinent.
What’s really awesome for me is I was able to return to the same conference and do an exclusive pre-release of The New A-list ahead of its July 29th release date. Attendees lined up to purchase the book and have their copies signed. The founder of the “Pure Heart Purity Conference,” Shawna Bynum, cried and was so grateful that her conference inspired a book. I knew I had heard God. It was just amazing!
Q: In the first chapter, you open up with great transparency by describing an incident that occurred when you were a young girl. Some girls are affected differently after such an experience, but you were able to stay abstinent until marriage. How were you able to remain sexually pure despite what happened?
Whew, this was a tough one. I cried while writing about that incident in the The New A-list. Some who have read it told me they did too. It was very hard to go back to that moment. It was deeply personal. In fact, I didn’t tell my own mother about it until I was 18. But I know there are millions out there like me who grapple with sexual confusion, depression, and shame after going through what I went through.
Honestly, it was only the grace of God and His love that held me. I was much too young to know exactly what to do at the time, you know, so, I, like many others, just covered it up. As I matured, I strengthened my faith through communion with God, gaining an understanding of His word, and walking in His power. That’s what helped me overcome temptation. It takes the same thing for all of us.
Q: In such a sex-crazed society, many women and men would say it’s nearly impossible to be abstinent before marriage because sex is displayed almost everywhere (ex: shampoo commercials, movies and music). What are the top three things you’d say to them?
This is a great question! As an urban faith-based media specialist, this is right up my alley. I know what great lengths corporations go to, to get a hold on this generation and as everyone knows, sex sells. It may sound cliché, but it’s true. I share some really helpful tips in The New A-list that I’ll touch on.
1. Be aware of your entertainment diet. Pay attention to what’s on your playlist, in your DVD collection, and a regular part of your entertainment regimen. You are what you eat, naturally and spiritually.
2. Restrict yourself when necessary. This is not a legalistic, “hell fire and brimstone” message. But censoring yourself is really important. Why start fires you can’t put out? Be wise and disciplined. Guard your heart, because out of it, every life decision is made.
3. Above all, feed your spirit with good things. Whatever you nurture in your life will be strongest. Galatians 6:8 teaches us this principle. So if you’re constantly feeding your flesh, when sexual temptation presents itself, your fleshly urges will overpower you. You want to be feeding your spirit with the word of God, worship, and activities that will build your faith and assist you in your purity journey.
Q: Huffington Post released an article titled, “Sex Before Marriage: 5 Reasons Every Couple Should Do It.” In the article, the writer gives reasons why she believes having sex before marriage is healthy for a relationship. Ensuring compatibility seems to be the biggest argument for premarital sex. What do you say to those who think it’s smart to engage sexually before marriage?
Ah, I read that article. Her core argument was based on concerns about compatibility, which is something I devote an entire section to in The New A-list. I think when you focus primarily on the physical, it can keep you from making sure you are spiritually, intellectually, and holistically compatible, which is far more important.
Also, as a very happy and satisfied wife of 16 years and mom of four, who did not have sex until marriage, I have my personal experience to tell you, that’s not necessary. Sex in marriage, just like anything else, requires work, learning, and time to perfect.
It is a journey of exploration. There is no 1-2-3 recipe. Even the writer of the anti-purity article said, “A lot of good sex is about listening to your partner and being able to respond accordingly.” You’ll have plenty of time to work on your sex life… after the I Dos.
Q. In “The New A-list,” you give a shout out to the “A-listers,” and describe them as people who intentionally take a stand for purity and Godly living. There are even some celebrities like Meagan Good and her husband DeVon who decided to wait until marriage to become sexually intimate. What do you say to those who desire to please God by walking in obedience and remaining abstinent?
To all the God-honoring singles, I say, making the sacrifice of obedience leads to blessings, favor, and to the spouse God has prepared for you with no compromise. Waiting also guards your heart and body against abuse from those less-than-upstanding characters looking to take advantage of you for a cheap thrill.
Even when it gets hard, keep waiting. It will be worth it and not only that, but, God can use you as an effective witness to encourage someone else.
Q. What would you say, Dianna, are the top reasons why singles should purchase The New A-list?
There are a lot of reasons to add The New A-list to your collection. It is a comprehensive resource on abstinence for anyone who is truly serious about waiting. It will give you practical tools that are based on personal experience, real-world research, and Biblical truths to help you along the way. It’s an all-in-one guidebook in a really easy-to-read format that you’ll enjoy. After reading The New A-list you will say, wow, I really can do this! It will give you hope and encouragement.
To learn how to better value yourself, uphold your standards and resist sexual compromise, get your copy of Dianna Hobbs' best-selling book The New A-list: Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, now available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Booksamllion.com.
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