She cooked, cleaned, took care of us, and never looked flustered. My mom was my shero and I was going to be just like her. That's what I thought from the time I was very little. I was always up under my mother Annie, observing and learning.
And when I was sixteen, I made my announcement. “Mom, when I reach 35, I’m really going to feel like a woman. I can’t wait until I’m 35!” I was always obsessed with that age. I’m not quite sure why, but it represented something for me. It’s also the time when I vividly recall watching my mother closely.
Come to think of it, that's probably why.
When she was 35, she and my dad were still having babies. Mom was serving as the “First Lady” of our church. She was beautiful, sweet, serious about her walk with God and elegant. Her words were always seasoned with grace and she was everything I wanted to be.
Somehow, after 35, I lost track of my mother’s age. For years, when anyone asked me how old she was, I would say 35… and ironically, really think I was right about that number!
Whenever she overheard me telling someone that, my mom always laughed and said, “Honey, I haven’t been 35 in years!”
Each time, it was a shock to me that I was wrong. How does one forget every year?
Odd, I know.
Well, next month, on November 2, I turn 35.
Yep, my “dream age”—at least it was back then.
I always wondered what I would be like, look like, think like, act like, and have. Now, the suspense is over.
When I look at myself today, I see how much I’ve changed over the years. I don’t fit into any mold. And my life looks quite different from my mother’s, though I was sure I would emulate and imitate everything about her then.
Finally I can say, I love my mom Annie, but I also love being myself.
It took me a long time to find my own voice; to break away from what I grew up seeing; to comfortably walk in my own lane; and to accept that God didn’t call me to be “just like” anyone, except Jesus.
I’m an independent thinker. And nope, I don’t fit in with most of the individuals I grew up around. I have developed my own life philosophies and created a home for me and my family.
I’m in my own lane now, finally.
These days, I’m able to reflect on my teenage years with a smile. I can now look back at “Dianna Brinson,” that curious, unsure, skinny, socially awkward young girl and say, “At 35, you’ll be exactly who God wants you to be… unique.”
And you’re unique as well, unlike anyone else around you. Embrace it and strive not to be a social conformist, but to be conformed to the image of Christ.
To help you do that, I’m stirring Romans 8:29NIV into your cup of inspiration. It says, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” When you drink down the contents of your cup, you’ll be reminded that, the more you grow, the more God wants You to resemble His only begotten son.
No one else.
The Father is not asking you to be like your relatives, friends, or members of your peer group. Even with all your quirks and tendencies others might be inclined to label weird, as long as He can see the light and love of His son Jesus shining through You, God is pleased with You.
God, thank You for how much I have grown and how far I’ve come. Thank You for nurturing me and maturing me into the person You formed and fashioned after Your will. I pray that You will continue to groom and guide me with Your loving hand and help me set my gaze and affections upon You, the only existing picture of perfection. In all my ways, let me be more like You, oh Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
As always, thanks for reading and until next time... may today's cup of inspiration uplift, encourage, and empower you!
