I am a nerd, though it might not be that obvious until you get to know me.
My husband Kenya surely didn't know he had stumbled upon a fellow geek when he first laid eyes on the girl of his dreams--something we recently discussed. Before he got up the nerve to give me his phone number at church one evening, he had heard me sing many times during C.O.G.I.C. conventions. He also saw me mingling with the musical crowd, which, according to him, he had preconceived notions about.
But when Kenya got to know me, he discovered that I was quite the opposite of some of my peers. I was a preacher's kid, but not a rebellious one. I was still a virgin and remained one until after I said "I do." I often tease him and tell him he's my "Alpha and Omega," my first and last. I didn't have a whole lot of friends and was pretty sheltered. I was a singer, but didn't really like to sing. And I enjoyed good musicians, but certainly didn't want to date one!
Still today, I'm an introvert. I'm a loner. I detest being among big crowds of people. I didn't have a best friend growing up, so I never really learned how to be the "girlfriend" type who enjoys hanging out. I tend to clam up and go quiet in the company of strangers. I am a happy homebody. My greatest joy is being a Jesus girl, wife, and mother. I prefer a quiet evening with the husband and kids over an exotic vacation any day. And I hate shopping.
Solitude is a refuge for me. I just love it.
But I've learned over the years that introverts, like me, are often misunderstood and misjudged. Those who don't understand me sometimes accuse me of being a separatist who is haughty, arrogant, mean, conceited, stuck up, and funny acting.
Ouch, right?
I used to be so hurt when I heard those type things. Now, not so much. I'm mature enough to know that most people judge a book by its cover. That's just the way it is. But if they fail to read the whole story, then they're missing out.
Not me.
It took lots of prayer for me to get to that point, though. For many years, I felt the need to adapt my behavior to appease others. I quickly learned that being the outgoing, chatty, social butterfly was, by far, more acceptable than being who I really was: quiet, pensive, observant, secluded, and private. So I began to adopt the personality and behavior of an extrovert, though inwardly, I felt quite the opposite.
But pretending got to be exhausting. And living life to please others was simply frustrating and demeaning. It eroded away my self-worth because I wasn't confident enough to project an authentic picture of who I was to the world.
So you know what I eventually did? I took off the mask and owned that I am a socially awkward nerd and proud of it. :-)
Of course my comfort in my own skin doesn't stop some folks from harboring resentment toward me and formulating their own ideas and opinions, no matter how false.
But I don't worry about that and neither should you, which is why I'm adding Galatians 1:10 (Amplified) to your cup of inspiration. It says, "Now am I trying to win the favor of men, or of God? Do I seek to please men? If I were still seeking popularity with men, I should not be a bond servant of Christ (the Messiah)."
When you drink down the contents of your cup, you'll be reminded that God didn't create you to be like everyone else. He made us all unique. He gave us distinct characteristics and personality traits. And He loves us just the way we are. Whether introverted or extroverted; silly or serious; goofy or refined; sensitive or stern; garrulous or measured with our words... it doesn't matter to Him.
As long as we're living in accordance with His word and doing all He instructs us to do, He is pleased. As a matter of fact, He'll use our personalities and idiosyncrasies to bring glory to His name.
So be authentically you and bask in God's love, not man's approval.
Lord, thank You for empowering me to be myself and reminding me that, as long as You are pleased with me, I'm okay. Please give me the courage to let my outward behaviors match my inward convictions, despite what others may think of me. In Jesus' name, Amen.
As always, thanks for reading and until next time... may today's cup of inspiration uplift, encourage, and empower you!
