You already know that you can’t go through life living in a bubble. You have to, at some point, open yourself up to new people, places and things. Let’s face it, beginning new relationships is a natural part of life, but you do have to be careful. You can’t disclose too much about yourself too soon. You can’t make the fatal mistake of telling your business.
If you’re a very friendly, open, honest, and outgoing person, you need to internalize what I’m telling you. Everybody is not ready to know you intimately. Oh, I cannot stress this enough. You can’t go around revealing your vulnerabilities, mistakes, hopes and dreams to everyone that crosses your path. Otherwise, disloyal people will exploit your openness, put your business in the street, and hurt you.
You see, we all want love and affection. We want to be accepted for who we are. We want to have meaningful relationships. But the truth remains there is always a Judas in every bunch. And if you want to avoid being betrayed and wounded keep your business to yourself.
I personally advise and mentor many young women all the time and you know what? I find that they give their hearts away much too fast. It’s true. They fall too hard, too often, and too quickly.
And I’m not just talking about romantic relationships. I’m also dealing with platonic friendships with other women. They trust too easily and fail to check the character of the person they’re involved with.
Hear me ladies. You cannot always take people at their word. This is a lesson I’ve learned through many tears and heartbreaks. Just because someone is smiling in your face does not mean they love you. Just because they say nice things to you doesn’t mean they won’t turn around and talk about you.
There are many, many people in the world that are unhappy, bitter, and toxic. However, you won’t see it right away. It’s not until you begin trusting them and letting them into your personal space, that their true nature is revealed. Often, it’s too late by then.
I wonder; have you ever thought someone was a genuinely good person and then out of the blue, they changed up on you? If so, isn’t it devastating? Well, today, I want to share a personal rule I use to safeguard myself against people who are posing as friends when they really aren’t. What I’m about to share is very useful, and I want you to put it into practice. It’s called “The Front Page Rule.” Now let me explain.
When you’re in the initial stages of any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, this rule applies. Here it is: “Never reveal anything you wouldn’t want to show up on the front page of your local newspaper the very next day.”
That’s a good one isn’t it? Anything you wouldn’t want the general public to know about you should never be disclosed to people who aren’t tried and true. Remember your mama told you never to talk to strangers? Well, consider anyone you meet to be a stranger for at least the first 90 days. Got that? It’s hard for most folks to fake anything for more than 90 days!
See, there’s no way of knowing whether someone is trustworthy right away. That takes time and testing. Even then, you won’t always be right. Still, you can minimize the amount of drama you endure if you simply learn how not to tell all of your business.
Listen, being wounded in relationships is inevitable. People will betray your trust. Sometimes, they’ll turn out to be just the opposite of who you believed them to be. But if you learn to conceal more often than you reveal, you’ll be much better off.
Remember this too. Watch those folks who talk about everybody. Because if they talk about everyone else, they’ll talk about you too! I know you might feel like you’re special, but so does the other person whose business is being put in the street by your gossiping “friend.”
Never forget this: “The knife they put in someone else’s back, is the same knife you will have to pull out of your own.” Hmmm . . . now let that marinate.
The Bible says, “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back” (Proverbs 29:11 NKJV).
My dear friend, I don’t want to see you hurt in relationships because you trusted someone that wasn’t worthy. I want you to closely examine all of your connections, pray and ask God to give you wisdom and guidance. Above all, don’t be so anxious for camaraderie, companionship, and closeness that you end up settling for just any old thing.
You’re a wonderful treasure and you deserve someone who values you accordingly. Thanks for reading!
Until next time . . . may you be empowered to prosper!
Dianna Hobbs
