There are some professional arsonists. They enjoy starting fires. They like to watch them spread. They like getting a rise out of people. They enjoy taunting, teasing, and troubling other folks. They’ll say anything to anybody with no regard for their feelings.
People with fiery tongues are not worth your time, so don’t give them any. They destroy rather than build; they hurt rather than help; they scorn rather than soothe; they fan flames rather than smother them. Don’t let them draw you out into a fight. They’re toxic. They don’t want to work it out, they just want to fight! They are fire-starters.
The Bible says it this way, “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature . . .” (James 3:5, 6a NKJV)
They’re willing to say anything. They’re volatile, hot-tempered, stubborn, narrow-minded, and set in their ways. And there’s nothing you can do to change them. So, instead of getting yourself all worked up about the situation, disengage. Avoid them.
Take this bit of advice. Never allow anyone to draw you into a war that’s not worth fighting. Some battles are not yours. Sometimes you need to hold your peace and walk away. Until you learn the difference, you’ll be locking horns with irreverent people who enjoy controversy and drama.
Have you ever met those kinds of folks? They like being in the middle of chaos and they’re just disagreeable and argumentative for no good reason. I’m helping somebody today . . . I sense itJ! You need to hear this. (I want you to leave me a comment too and let me know about it. I read every comment you submit.)
You can’t win every battle. Everyone is not going to agree with you, so stop trying to justify who you are. Now, let me throw out a disclaimer. If you’re being rebellious and acting up, I’m not empowering you to be a cut-up!
On the other hand, if you’re living a life that’s pleasing to God and others are giving you grief because they don’t endorse all of our decisions, don’t worry about it. You can’t spend your life trying to put out fires that you didn’t start.
Remember what your mama told you . . . if you play with fire, you’ll get burned! And you certainly don’t want to be around verbal arsonists. They use their tongues to tear things up.
So, how do you deal with these situations? Well, sometimes, you get victory over people and things by simply ignoring them. It’s true. I know it sounds simple, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. Why not? Because if you’re a fighter by nature, if you feel the need to appease people, or if you have an incessant need to defend your character against attack, this will challenge you. But I want you listen to what I have to say today; it will save you so much hardship and unnecessary struggle. I promise.
Let me establish something right away: People are going to think whatever they want to think about you. If you try to regulate people’s thoughts and opinions you’ll drive yourself crazy. Everyone is different. We all have unique ideas, values, and methods. This is what makes the world interesting and diverse. We don’t process information the same way. Just as our fingerprints are unique, so is our perspective of the world.
So, why then, do we get bothered when others disagree with us? Why do we get in a tizzy when someone misrepresents who we truly are? Don’t waste your time worrying about it.
I think that one of the greatest pains you will have to learn to endure is the pain of misunderstanding. What do I mean by that? I’ll tell you. There will always be individuals who will misconstrue your angle. They will take your remarks out of context. They will infer things that you were not trying to imply. They won’t understand your personality. They’ll make misguided assumptions about your character.
It’s difficult to try to explain yourself to someone who is intent on believing what they want to believe. You can waste hours trying to justify your intentions and your position, but to no avail. It won’t do any good.
Always know, if someone wants to believe the best, they will. If they want to believe the worst, they will. You cannot waste your time trying to be the “mind police.” You can’t control other people’s thoughts, nor can you control their mouths. So what can you do?
You can control your response. You can focus on keeping your composure and not feeding into other people. Oh, I’m helping you today.
You see, we let others get under our skin too easily. We let folks ruffle our feathers too quickly. We feel like we need to offer a rebuttal whenever someone misunderstands our position. But it’s not advisable to involve yourself in every debate. Why? Because some people like to fight just to fight. They’re professional arsonists.
There is only one way to avoid being consumed and that is . . . stop, drop and roll! Stop dealing with them. Drop them from the friend list. And keep rolling. You can’t make yourself vulnerable to volatile people. They’ll only hurt you.
You’re a good person, but everyone is not. Some folks will steam roll over you and never look back. You have to be wise in your approach to people and relationships. Prayerfully seek the Lord about everyone you’re attached to. He’ll guide you and strengthen you along the way.
Before I go, let me say this too. Perhaps, you’re in a troubled covenant relationship with a spouse, or close familial/parental relationship. In that case, I don't want you applying the "stop, drop, and roll theory!" Instead, I want you to ask God for increased wisdom. “Wisdom is the principle thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7 NKJV).
Let Him lead you every step of the way. And remember, it never pays to argue. Someone has to be the bigger person. And since this message has come to you today, I want you to take the high road and trust God to work things out.
Until next time . . . may you be empowered to prosper!
Dianna Hobbs
