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God's Property

With all due respect, a person who was married in his/her early/mid twenties has no place giving a 30+ year old advice on virginity or abstaining from sex. Good intentions aside, you don't have the capacity to dish advice here because if you did, you would have known how redundant, insulting, and triggering your "10 benefits" are.

I appreciate your commitment to this topic, but the church's obsession with purity (specifically for women) borders on idolatry. Not to mention the fact that it still doesn't even meet God's requirement for purity, so how we've convinced ourselves that it does is beyond me.

The truth is, what happened to this woman Could have happened to a person who did wait until marriage to have sex. People choose not so great partners. Relationships dissolve. I've seen Christian marriages where both parties enter as virgins, yet the marriage still ends in divorce. If anything was this woman's problem, it's the fact that she fell victim to the church's idolatry of virginity (exclusively for women) where we're taught not having sex before marriage is sufficient enough to meet God's expectation for purity. It's not. She fell victim to the belief that if she waited, God would Automatically give her a husband-- as if sacrifice is what the Lord desires; or worse yet, that he can be manipulated through our actions.

The truth is, only God knows His will for her life. None of us walk in obedience to God's word as our inherent sinful natures doesn't allow us. Furthermore, being married is no guaranteed that your partner will be responsible in rearing your child. Married people sometimes contract STIs from their spouses. Heartbreak is not limited to fornicators as many married people can attest to that.

As a body, we've got to stop reducing God's Word to simplistic steps that if followed, will guarantee a trouble-free life. The only thing that could help this woman is the promise and act of prayer and sharing her pain. Anything else is insufficient.

Dianna Hobbs

Wow, that’s a loaded comment, "God's Property."

But I feel led to share something very important with you. It is critical that we don’t nullify the word of God by our own traditions and perspectives. Purity is still right. It is biblical. It is required—even in this modern day and age where anything goes. We cannot become grace abusers, meaning, focusing so heavily on the free gift of grace Christ gives as an excuse to do whatever we want. No, we cannot earn God’s approval, however, we do have a job as Christians to honor God’s commands.

Sex before marriage is sin, for everyone.

Now, to address a few other things and I say a few because your comment is too convoluted and all over the place to address them all…

Since I see firsthand so many people that are helped by the message of purity God has led me to share—being married young and all— I focus on that, instead of negativity like you have spewed here.

While it is true that being obedient to God’s word and waiting for marriage to have sex (something, from my viewpoint, that applies to both men and women equally) does not guarantee a perfect life, if my understanding of God’s word is correct, we are not obedient to Scripture as a way of manipulating God. It is our “reasonable sacrifice” to present our bodies holy as Romans 12:1 states. We don’t obey just to get something out of it. Obedience is motivated by our love and devotion to Christ for His sacrifice and our desire to please the Lord.


There is no way to live a Christian life and skip over sacrifice and obedience. We must die to ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Christ in all areas of life—including sexuality.

As for me, I will continue helping those who are open to receiving the message God has given me. I will go on sharing and rejoicing with those who are seeing the benefits of receiving and applying the purity principles they have received through this ministry.

May the Lord bless you on your journey. And may you understand this: it is not the opinion of man that qualifies me to do what I’m doing. It is the call of God. He has anointed me to walk along this path, something that the fruit of this ministry demonstrates, and I will continue doing that.

Please be mindful that you don’t get to pick and choose who God uses. That goes for me and everyone else. If youth were a determining factor in getting started, many of the biblical kings and prophets would have never done the work of the Lord. If they had to have experiences that mirrored everyone they were trying to help, they would have never fulfilled their divine purpose. That argument, whenever it is used, is misguided.

We need to look no further than our own Savior, the ultimate example, to see that God's power works through young vessels. Jesus was 12 years old when going back and forth with the seasoned teachers of the law in Scripture. (Luke 2:41-52)

Be careful how you judge and what you say. You have the freedom to sit behind a keyboard and type whatever you want, but what you don’t have is authority to determine the course of anyone’s destiny.

Disagreeing with my points is one thing, but telling me that I "don't have the capacity to dish advice here," on the very site that people all over the world have come to and been blessed from reading, is out of line.

God's Property

I'll admit-- it was out of line and I sincerely apologize for that.

However, my words were written out of frustration for non-adult virgins advising adult virgins. It extends way beyond you. The pain experienced by 30+ year old virgins is so unimaginable I couldn't begin to tell you. And in my experience, the most comforting words regarding this issue have either come from the Lord Himself or people living the struggle.

And for the record, I don't disagree with your points at all as they're rooted in Scripture and I most certainly don't disagree with Scripture. It's just the irony of years worth of listening to non-adult virgins advise adult virgins that's starting to get to me.

Anyway, no need to explain how God and not man determines your path as I'm fully aware and have no intention of trying to usurp His authority. What you read as anger and disrespect in my initial response was really just years worth of frustration and weariness.

Peace and blessings to you and the work you've been called to do.


God word is true

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Dianna Hobbs, the award-winning author of The New A-list,  is all about empowering today's generation to boldly walk in purity. learn more



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