Article By Dianna Hobbs
I was heartbroken for her as I read her message.
A 34-year-old woman requesting prayer sent me an email. She had abstained from sex all her life. Waiting until marriage was her goal, not as some prize or trophy, but as a way of truly honoring God.
But as she saw her friends and family landing their “Mr. Right,” getting engaged, walking down the aisle and having children, she began to feel lonely and left out.
“I felt like God had forgotten about me,” she said. “It was like my biological clock was ticking and “my dream of getting married, having 2 kids, a dog and a white picket fence was getting away from me.”
Angry with God for not allowing her “Boaz to come waltzing through the door,” she felt her heart growing harder by the day. She told me, “Dianna, my faith was so low. I was so tired of holding out, believing God for my breakthrough and doing the right thing, and all for what?”
Her faith was diminishing. She stopped going to church and focused on making things happen on her own.
“I felt like at that point I could do a better job than God. I’m just being honest. I didn’t even know if I wanted to be a Christian any longer,” she wrote.
Well, she met a guy at an upscale social club. They connected and she liked him. They had similar tastes and interests. He had a great career, but was not religious. “That was my only real problem, but everything else was on point,” she said.
Things progressed quickly.
Soon, she learned that he wasn’t really into the abstinence thing and that was problematic as well, but, by this time, she felt like “compromising seemed to be a small price for getting rid of the loneliness I felt.”
After all those years of waiting, she gave in and had sex with him three months into their relationship. “I figured, at least I honored the 90-day rule,” she reasoned.
What she didn’t factor in was that this guy was a ladies man. He was pretty much putting on the nice guy act for her to get one thing.
After he got it, things were great for a little while.
But then she received a phone call that broke her down.
His baby’s mother retrieved her number from the cheater’s mobile phone.
This strange, irate woman had three children by this man.
To make matters worse he had been with this other woman for years. They still live together and he has no intentions of leaving.
Shortly after that devastating revelation, feeling confused and used, this woman tried to end her life.
My heart ached as I read her story. I have read others like it. Even though there are differences, I find one similar thread running through them all.
The single woman that’s waiting on God gets tired of waiting and begins to feel like her faithfulness to the Lord is in vain. She starts to believe she has been overlooked and will never have her dream of meeting the God-ordained man with whom she is predestined to spend her life.
Impatience takes over and the results are usually unfavorable.
My dear friend, getting antsy and aggravated, and compromising standards can lead to difficult and unfortunate outcomes. Don’t let Satan trick you and cause you to fall into this trap of seduction.
One of the most important scriptures for every single and abstinent person to have in their arsenal and internalize is found in Philippians 4:6, which says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”
Don’t get in a hurry. Don’t get all anxious and bent out of shape. Don’t start saying, I have to have someone now!
Wait for God's timing.
If you have been feeling yourself growing agitated with your single and abstinent journey lately, shift your focus and think about all the benefits of waiting for sex. Here are 10.
1. You honor your spiritual commitment to God, which is most important of all.
2. You avoid developing soul ties with multiple partners.
3. You don’t have to endure the heartbreak that follows giving yourself away to an unworthy person who devalues you afterward.
4. You are able to connect with a mate based on true love, without being blinded by lust, giving yourself a better chance at a successful relationship.
5. Your God-honoring lifestyle allows God into the process of connecting you with your soul mate, helping you avoid making the wrong choice.
6. You will not have to deal with the overwhelming guilt that comes with sexual compromise.
7. You will not be hindered from walking in your divine purpose due to hidden sexual sin.
8. You will avoid sexually transmitted diseases—some of which are incurable and can impact your quality of life forever.
9. You will not need to worry about bringing a child into the world with someone who is not ready to commit to you or that life they helped you create.
10. You will feel strong, confident and experience the true freedom that comes from walking in obedience to God and submitting to His will.
To learn how to better value yourself, uphold your standards and resist sexual compromise, get your copy of Dianna Hobbs' best-selling book The New A-list: Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, now available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Booksamllion.com.