If you’re a single woman waiting for marriage to have sex, especially if you’ve engaged in the act before, you well know the struggle of temptation.
A 28-year-old woman wrote into “Dear Abby,” expressing her struggle to abstain after bedding “50-plus partners” over an 11-year period.
In the piece, she said, “A couple of friends have attempted to get me to break my vow. These men know how they make me feel, and I am finding it difficult to stay away from them.”
The struggling young woman, who has been celibate for a month now, continued, “Although I have stopped spending time with them, I still feel the urge to be with them. So, do you have any advice on how to stay strong?”
DEAR ABBY SAID THIS IN RESPONSE:
DEAR TRYING: Old habits are hard to break, but as you already know, it can be done. An effective way to do that is to replace the habit you're trying to change with some other activity. Right now, it's important for you stay busy.
Consider increasing the amount of exercise you do each day, doing projects around your home, filling your time by volunteering, etc. If you do, you'll have less time to dwell on what you're "missing." This is not to say that your sex drive will go away, but it will help you to better control it.
HERE’S WHAT’S MISSING FROM THAT RESPONSE:
All the things suggested by the “Dear Abby” writer are practical and implementable. And yet, there is something missing: the spiritual aspect.
As a Christian woman, you can’t simply rely on behavioral modification and expect to win the battle against temptation. You have to fortify your spirit by immersing yourself in scripture, spending quality time with God and staying connected to other believers walking out their faith.
When you allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and bring back to your remembrance the principles of holiness, you are more likely to keep your vow.
One more thing: you can’t fight the battle against your flesh in your flesh. You need the spirit of God to help you do that.
Stay strong and remain committed to abstinence!
As Philippians 4:13 NKJV, “You can do I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Your Abstinence Coach,
To learn how to better value yourself, uphold your standards and resist sexual compromise, get your copy of Dianna Hobbs' best-selling book The New A-list: Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, now available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Booksamllion.com.