Wouldn't it be convenient if toxic people came with some kind of warning label? You know... a sign across their backs or something that said, "I am toxic. I am not trustworthy. I betray people..." Unfortunately, toxic people look non-toxic, and they are not required by law to identify themselves. So, it's up to you and me, with the help of God, to discover who's who... (Sigh)
This post is so important today, especially for the development of new relationships, or rekindling of old ones. Settle in...
Yesterday, I talked to you about how to deal with hurt. Today, I want to teach you how to avoid being hurt. Of course, there's no way to avoid being hurt all the time. But there certainly are methods to help minimize your risk.
I want to share some of that wisdom with you today. Let's jump to it.
Whether it's a business relationship, romantic relationship, or even a new friendship, you have to be careful. Everyone's heart isn't pure. If you don't know how to see those signs, you'll fall into traps and end up hurt. I wonder, have you ever met someone who seemed to be the sweetest person in the world, but after you got to know them they turned out to be a tyrant?
I sure have. When it comes to people, I'm VERY careful. I told you in an earlier post, I'm selective about who I associate with. Everyone isn't trustworthy, and the truth of the matter is, some folks have issues that need to be dealt with. If you forge relationships with them before they're delivered from their hang-ups, you'll be on the receiving end of the drama. Who needs that?
As you get to know me, you'll find that I'm a very practical person. I examine things from multiple angles. I encourage you to do the same. If you'll seek God for wisdom, and utilize a bit of common sense, you'll avoid lots of trouble.
For example, if you meet someone who is a terrible gossiper, DO NOT TRUST THEM. If they'll run someone else in the ground, you are not exempt. They'll run you in the ground too. Gossipers don't usually discriminate. They take pleasure in the calamity of others. People like that are unhealthy. If, by chance, you're a gossiper... I'm praying for your deliverance right now =)
Relationships are risky. That's why you have to know who you're dealing with before you go letting your guard down. Everybody smiling in your face is not your friend. Just because they say they love you, doesn't mean they do. Just because the two of you might be " relatives," doesn't mean you have a true bond... can I get a real loud "Amen" right there? You don't have to say it. You know I'm speaking truth!
I've seen relatives that hate each other's guts. They fight like cats
and dogs. They stab each other in the back without batting an eye.
They're jealous and in competition with each other. I've seen treachery
at its finest when it comes to blood relatives... scary.
Don't just shrug things off. Open your eyes and interpret
what you observe. When individuals turn shady, see it for what it is.
Sometimes, God will allow you to see right past their smiles. He'll reveal their
motives and intentions. That's something only He can do. The Bible says it like
this, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and
desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)
I'm not being overly-cautious or
paranoid. I'm attempting to help you better navigate your way through life.
You've got to start connecting some dots and seeing people and situations for
what they are. Then you won't get hurt and blindsided so often.
I'm speaking from experience. I used to think that everyone liked me, until they overtly did something to cause me to believe otherwise. After a while, I got tired of walking into the same traps. I wanted to know, "How can I see who people are BEFORE they hurt me God?" It's easy to make adjustments after the fact, but I wanted to know how to avoid getting caught in the booby trap at all.
I've seen a little bit of everything, especially after being in business for a while. If not for the wisdom of God, I would have trusted some
snakes... but thank God for His guidance! Trust me, the enemy is cunning.
That's why you have to be wise.
Here's something else important... Once you know someone
lacks integrity, don't keep running back to them over and over again! Leave 'em
alone. I'll say it again... leave 'em alone. It's not worth the headache
or heartache.
Individuals can praise you with their lips, while hating you in their hearts. Please be careful. Let the Lord show you who people TRULY are. At the same time, you have to be more watchful and observant. Begin paying closer attention. Don't be naive. Listen, God wants you to have fruitful relationships with healthy people. If they're not healthy, release them from your life. Don't make excuses for their behavior, and by all means, don't try to change them. That will never work.
You can pray for them, but only God can deliver them... that is, if they want to be delivered. It's not your responsibility to play superhero. You can't set them free from their toxic behaviors and attitudes. Only the Lord is able to change hearts.
No amount of compassion, overcompensation, or placation, will ever alter a warped mentality. And don't you ever forget it. There are some battles that only God has the power to win. The battle is not yours to fight. Remember, be careful. Be wise. Be prayerful.
Until next time... may you be empowered to prosper!
Dianna Hobbs
